I’ve been a mother for almost ten years now, and still most days feel like struggle-town. Not all the time: of course there are countless golden moments. But, I so often I think, I’m just not cut out for this!! why does it have to be so damn HARD??
Maybe if I’d had some professional help or real support when #1 was tiny (I was a single mum), maybe I would have adjusted better. Maybe if I’d had my kids earlier (I was 28 when first was born), and I wasn’t so set in my free, peaceful ways, maybe if I hadn’t read so much conflicting advice online, maybe, maybe… maybe I’d be less anxious, stressed…
My doc was quite concerned about me when #1 was 5mo… she diagnosed me with Generalised Anxiety Disorder and tried to tell me, “everything you’re doing is GOOD ENOUGH” I didn’t believe her as I was SO hell-bent on being a perfect mother, drawing on the many (conflicting) parenting resources. Drove myself NUTS. In the end I stopped reading and parented instinctively.
I’m not perfect, and every day I see ways I could be better. But I’m not turning myself in knots, trying to model myself on what somebody else says is right.
Good enough IS good enough.