It’s so true what Ilja says about putting our best foot forward. Online (and so often in real life) we present a polished version of ourselves, not often admitting to our failures, and when we do, filtering it to a select group of people… those who are probably least likely to judge, those who know us better than the rest.

Having said that… have you seen the image getting around Facebook? “May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.” Sure there are lots of people who *are* pretending, but then there are people like me who don’t post every mood swing, fight with their partner or difficulty in life for all to see. I’m a positive person and the last thing I want is for people I care about to feel miserable for me, or because my FB wall is a train wreck.

So I’m not here all bloody night, I’m going to limit my flaws to just 7 :)

1. This one most of my readers (I do have a few, right..? ;) know that I’m highly anxious, highly stressed and sometimes prone to panic – not in the loud, freaking out kinda way, but quietly and nobody ever knows. I know that my perfectionism is tied into that – a good thing for my work, but not when I expect it in others.

2. Because of the above, I can be a really bad Mum, yelling, screaming, having tantrums when I don’t have absolute control of a situation. I have fits of anger, sometimes to the point of rage, that are completely unjustified. (see below)

3. I love to drink. I lie on the doctors sheets about how much/often. Definitely more than 1 standard drink per day. I try to make a big effort to go during the week without drinking but as my partner also likes to drink, I don’t always get from Sunday to Friday without my fair share of several bottles of wine.

4. I smoke. That’s like the evil of all evils these days, isn’t it? I justify this by rolling my own because it’s ‘cooler’ and ‘better’. I don’t *always* smoke, though. I took it up early this year after having given up for 2 years. the time before, I didn’t smoke for 3 years. and I know I’ll stop again and most likely take it up again someday.

5. I think I cook better food than most restaurants and can be very ‘uppity’ when I’m served something ‘out’ that isn’t cooked properly or tastes bad.

6. I’m a bit of a neat freak. My military partner wouldn’t agree: I don’t keep the house to his supposed standards. Though not as sparkly CLEAN as it could be (I can’t reach all the cobwebs!), but most mothers walk into my home and ask why it’s so clean. And I don’t clean because I’m expecting them. I clean after the visitors leave because their kids muck up my floors :)

This is where *I* get very judgemental. I think it’s fine to “let things go” a bit when you have a newborn and for a while after. but years of having a “lived in” place that is never tidied or clean is plain lazy as far as I’m concerned. I don’t bust my nut to keep the place tidy but I DO ask the kids to tidy their rooms a few times a week, tidy up after activities (sometimes takes me days, but it happens!), and generally help me around the house. Every day, I spend five minutes here or there on ‘work breaks’, doing bits and pieces. I don’t find it a huge effort at all and don’t understand why other people do (aside from depression sufferers – but that’s a different story).

It should be noted that this does not mean I don’t like messy people! I know my clean tendencies are tied in with my anxiety and stress, and knowing I can’t function in chaos.

7. I think I am a bit crazy and often spend hours online diagnosing myself with this or that mental illness. I have ever seen anybody professionally – they might lock me up! :)

I think that might do!! :)

Warts n all! :)

Day 1.

Roast the world’s biggest leg of lamb.

Day 2.

Cut all of the remaining lamb from the bone

Depending on the quantity, cook the following:

Onion and garlic. When cooked through, add :

the cut lamb (however you like – be fancy! :)

minimum of 1tsp each of ground cumin and coriander.  I also added chilli powder because I’m hardcore.

a few tomatoes, or a tin if that’s all you have

a tin of drained and rinsed chick peas (I had used a small handful in my lunch – a tuna/veg dish -earlier in the day)

a few mushrooms, thickly sliced

Simmer until it starts to smell really yummy and serve with mashed potato (or couscous).

YUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I’m feeling very pleased with myself for cooking a lovely meal with minimal effort.  I DO love cooking, but with the level of work  and creativity happening in the studio of late, something had to give!

I LOVE my new admin area!  Am I going to be organised, or WHAT! :)

It was just a cluttered mess; with things lying around that didn’t need to be.  I like it all close by, but doesn’t need to mess things up.  Now, it’s stored under some lovely sheer fabric and vintage table runner that are disguising the ugly trolley (I WILL paint it one day).

I swapped tables over – the white is now for admin and photography, and for when I need a larger space for cutting bigger pieces.  I mostly use my ironing board for cutting! :)

My cutting area!  The fan and boxes I had moved from the sewing area – then ran for the camera!  :)   All I have really done is move the mess down the wall a little :)  I don’t know how I will fare without my trusty trolley – it may be ugly, but it’s an inspiration holder!  I have now packed those ideas into the cupboard – lets hope I don’t forget.

I now have issues in the studio with where to hang pictures!!.  I need to spend time with some picture hangers and a hammer :)

The left wall is where I usually hang my clothing for photographs.  the way I have orientated the tables, means I’ve encroached into the space…   I am yet to work out where I’ll do the photos – perhaps in the garden as I really don’t like those blue walls!

The brown book shelf – one day, maybe when we move at the end of next year, I am painting it white.  Any tips on this – I am completely clueless when it comes to furniture!

The sewing table:  I had the overlocker in my accustomed spot, beside the sewing machine – but realised immediately that I had lost the space beside.  I have worked with machines on different table edges before and it was fine.

The best thing about setting up the tables like this?  I won’t be distracted as I’m sewing by the bloody computer!!!! god help me if I turn it around!  :)

Some of my personally favourite photos of M&M garments…  and a sweet little collage faux bag that Lily amused herself with while I delved into the many boxes with unknown contents.  Isn’t she creative and resourceful?

beautiful Heart Candy print, my first *bespoke* zine… and I really love the vintage embroidery prettying up my space.  The framed fabric… that WAS my order sorter-thing..  not I’m not sure what it’s purpose is.  Perhaps I’ll update the fabrics and hang it somewhere..

That’s it!  What do you think?    Do you have ideas on how I could use the space better, based on personal experience?   Do you have handy links to inspiring studios?  Yours, perhaps?  I would love to see!

Here is my Studio Envy board on Pinterest.

xx

Maybe if I’d had some professional help or real support when #1 was tiny (I was a single mum), maybe I would have adjusted better. Maybe if I’d had my kids earlier (I was 28 when first was born), and I wasn’t so set in my free, peaceful ways, maybe if I hadn’t read so much conflicting advice online, maybe, maybe… maybe I’d be less anxious, stressed…

My doc was quite concerned about me when #1 was 5mo… she diagnosed me with Generalised Anxiety Disorder and tried to tell me, “everything you’re doing is GOOD ENOUGH” I didn’t believe her as I was SO hell-bent on being a perfect mother, drawing on the many (conflicting) parenting resources. Drove myself NUTS. In the end I stopped reading and parented instinctively.

I’m not perfect, and every day I see ways I could be better. But I’m not turning myself in knots, trying to model myself on what somebody else says is right.

Good enough IS good enough.

This is what the Mums had to say:

~ We have a caravan where I stash a lot if the pressies, and that is where I also wrap them. Big plastic tub in plain view in the top of my cupboard is also a good place, kids don’t even think twice because it is in plain view

~ the back of my walk in robe.

~ Have floor to ceiling cupboards so way up the top where even the cheekiest monkey can’t climb :)

~ Car boot?

~ In Hubby’s shed locked in cupboard…

~ Are we expected to give the kids presents on Christmas ??? ;) lol

~ Same as Jane at our place. Tell the girls christmas will be nowhere near as exciting if they know what they are getting – we found our presents one year, and it was a huge let down on the day!

~ In the top cupboard of the wardrobe at my parents’ place, or leave them at the store on lay-by until Christmas Eve :)

~ I hide fakes in our pantry and tell the girls not to look in there, whatever they do. Works like a charm. They’re so busy scouring the pantry they don’t check my real spots – bookshelf and undies drawer for small, top of the wardrobe for bigger ones…

~ In plain view in a tub on top of the wardrobe. It is always there so it doesn’t look out-of-place when it is full!!

~ Mine are hidden at my neighbor’s house!! My kids are snoops!!!!

~ I layby deliberately and what i buy on sale I hide and find some of it in January or even may/June. So funny-I always forget the little things. I also set the kids up for diss appointment deliberately, makes for a better Chrissy. Works every year.

~ man hole as long as u have no pests…… they will never think to look there plus it works for big kids tooo…… heheheh

~ I like to hide in boxes already in my home; tubs full of memorabilia from long ago. They never look in tubs marked; Chris’s college textbooks!

~ I have 2 nondescript brown boxes I am hiding presents in this year. Both boxes are well out of my daughter’s reach.

Where do you hide yours? Feel free to add your comment! :)

I sat down to type this recipe out… I thought I would check google first and found it via Google Books! :) Click the image above to get the recipe.

We omitted the chilli to keep it kid-friendly ;)

I am faced with a mountain of laundry which is the result of working solely on M&M during last week (I usually do a load of washing every other day). I also have a child home from school*, meaning the day is going to be full of “Mummy!!” and various demands. I will work a little – packaging and perhaps a couple of simple girls a-line skirts – but to avoid the inevitable ‘seething with resentment’ at the end of the day from trying to do too much, I need to let go.

* Maisie had a bite on her belly last week that she scratched and fiddled with. It grew large and watery, with blistery edges… I was so worried about the infection that I took her to the doc yesterday afternoon – especially seeing as another little bite was also behaving like the original bite. Impetigo / school sores!! I was expecting ‘cellulosis’, not impetigo! Anyway, she’s commenced antibiotic treatment and the sores have nice scabs and aren’t looking so angry. She could have gone to school but I have kept her home.

Invited by a friend, we joined in with a local Darwin 4WD club, to traverse some very bumpy tracks we’d not previously explored. There was a dirt bike competition on which had closed off some of the tracks, so we ended up on what is a now familiar track, past our secret camping spot and way beyond it. SO fun. It was mostly a day spent in the car, bumping around and feeling slightly nervous about our updated suspension making some odd thumping sounds…

Being part of a convoy was a new experience. I have to say that it was a great feeling of security, all looking out for one another, communicating about the track etc via radio.

I gave up trying to take photos without our big windscreen crack! too hard when you’re bumping along :)

The weather was insanely hot and humid – a real taste of what we’re in for over the next few months before the rains properly come!

Home at the end of the day, tired but so satisfied after a long, fun day with old and new friends.

After we snacked and the kids ran off to play, we caught up on the happenings in the worlds of MangoLime and Monsoons & Mangoes, and then took some photos of some recent work…  Always so worth the effort as clothing looks best on people! :)

Next, I twirled and twirled and… got very DIZZY trying to capture the beauty of this awesome patchwork skirt!

WHOA!  Reminded me of drinking two-buck-chuck when I was 16, and spinning on the beach…

Anna & all the kids

Then it was time to leave…  after some carry-on from my eldest about carrying a bag (with her running shoes in it), and one last turn in the maze, and a clamber over the rocks… we said our farewells and headed home.

Getting out of the car, Lily asked, “Where’s the blue bag…?”  OH NO!  Left behind at the maze.  I was absolutely furious!!   Amidst much ranting and raving from me, we drove all the way back (well, only 20mins, but that’s a LONG way to a Darwinite!) and sure enough – the bag was well and truly gone.  Home again, amidst lots of tears from Lily.  I’m about to cal the Bot Gdns office and the Darwin City Council to see if the bag might have been handed in.  Cross fingers, for us.

An accidental patchwork experiment a couple of years ago, to use up some scraps, and before I know it, I’m “famous” (hehe) for my patchwork skirts and dresses.

I think this was the first.  I think I’ve gotten better, what do you think? :)

As back-breaking and exhausting as it can be, it’s SO rewarding.

Selecting the fabric

Cutting all the little squares and forming the tiers

and then piecing it all together… to be rewarded with AWESOME!

Do I have a patchwork skirt?  Yes, I do… just a knee-length as generally the weather isn’t favourable for long skirt (picture swathes of fabric clinging to sweaty legs & me tripping over)… but one of these days, I’m going to dedicated time to making myself one as I absolutely ADORE wearing them for photos :)